Giving Up Pretzels Was The Hardest Work I Ever Done After giving up drinking, cocaine and Jimmy Jeff Gannon Guckert. ~ by George W. Bush
tlsintx
· 10 months ago
aaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Jack Daniels or Jim Beam...it's hard out there for a drunken chimp.
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
Maybe he should ask Sarah Palin to help him. Perhaps that way, they can get a single sentence put together. It couldn't hurt. Brought to you by Dumb and Dumber.
Indigo
· 10 months ago
It's bad luck to use the name of that governor of Alaska.
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
It hardly matters. Between the two of them the condensed stupidity will suck them into a black hole and back into their own warped dimension.
"twinkle Twinkle Little Star, how I wonder what you are; up above the world so high, like a tea tray in the sky"
Indigo
· 10 months ago
"tea tray"? I have only ever heard the US public school version: "like a diamond in the sky." Is it the British version?
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
I understand it to be from the book, Alice in Wonderland, when the doormouse sings.
Indigo
· 10 months ago
You're right, it is. I never knew a US public grade school to sing it that way, however.
foxy
· 10 months ago
The problem is does he even know how to write?
FunMe
· 10 months ago
Coke or Pepsi?
I think we know his choice.
Yeah! In one week I can sing:
"Munchkins Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go, Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out. Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low. Let them know The Wicked Witch is dead! Mayor As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally. Barrister But we've got to verify it legally, to see Mayor To see? Barrister If she Mayor If she? Barrister Is morally, ethic'lly Father No.1 Spiritually, physically Father No. 2 Positively, absolutely Munchkins Undeniably and reliably Dead Coroner As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead. Mayor Then this is a day of Independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants Barrister If any. Mayor Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked Old Witch at last id dead!"
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
Coke or Pepsi?
I think we know his choice. ---
well, ya gotta agree with him. Pepsi burns when you snort it.
:-)
tigergrrldc
· 10 months ago
This man is so clueless that he thinks somebody would actually read this. Unless, maybe it is be billed as a work of fiction, because he has lied about everything his administration has done.
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
10-15 pages... perfect for a 'back of the toilet' book.
maybe he should make the pages out of Charmin, just in case?
nicho
· 10 months ago
Unfortunately, it will sell a decent number of copies. Remember, 58,000,000 Americans voted to put Sarah Palin a 73-year-old heartbeat away from the nuclear codes and, worse still, the economy.
"The Base" will buy the book -- many of them will buy multiple copies. I was at a book signing by Newt Gingrich a year or two ago. (I was working.) There was a huge line. At the front of the line was a young guy -- late 20s/early 30's -- who had 10 copies of the book. He was going to give them to his family members for Christmas. He said they all adored Newtie.
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
I believe that's 'nukular codes'.
/snark
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
"I'm toying with the idea of maybe describing the toughest decisions I had to make as President"
Let's see, as I understand it, "being President is haaaaaard!" Oh, then, the choices--the choices. Well, being the good Deciderer that he is, I'm sure something scintillating can be written. Perhaps, how Dick Cheney really was the power behind the throne (despite Darth's lame efforts to deny it).
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
writing a book, already has ideas. so... the big decision:
pop-up or coloring?
takeasiesta
· 10 months ago
connect the dots?
tbhull
· 10 months ago
Concurrent with this announcement, Halliburton, Blackwater and KBR, citing slumping war profits, have formed a joint venture evidencing their intial entries into the publishing business and will pay Bush an advance equal to the greater of $100 million or 10% of their combined net profit for the period coomencing 9/11/2001 through 1/20/2009 for his book.
KarenMrsLloydRichards
· 10 months ago
from page 69: "I felt the Lord move in my heart when I found out that Jenna got a citation for drinking under the age of 21. I wanted to give her a punishment of some kind, and maybe ground her. But my favorite philosopher, Jesus Christ, who changed my heart, told me to be a forgiving dad. It was one of those times I just let Jesus be the Decider..."
Indigo
· 10 months ago
L.O.L. !
DCinDC
· 10 months ago
Oh Nooooooooo!
caphillprof
· 10 months ago
Kitty: I was reading a book the other day. Carlotta: Reading a book? Kitty: Yes. It's all about civilization or something. A nutty kind of a book. Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession? Carlotta: Oh, my dear, that's something you need never worry about.
--Dinner at Eight
j swift
· 10 months ago
Should be a short book then, since he appears to have a simple calculus to make his tough decisions. That being What would John Wayne do?
Draige
· 10 months ago
Why do you want to insult John Wayne like that.
dacnova
· 10 months ago
The Presidency for Dummies?
JustAnOldLady
· 10 months ago
ROFLMAO..................
Nosybear
· 10 months ago
Has it been definitively proven that Bush can write? He seems illiterate in most other respects such as history, math, science, reading....
Another child left tragically behind.
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
Wasn't there a big press conference while he was "vacationing/hiding" in Crawford about how he had some huge medical book on his bedside table that he was eager to start reading? It needed to be emphasized to show what a voracious reader he is(n't)
woodroad34
· 10 months ago
Let's see...titles...titles...
How about: 'Profiles in Wimpishness', "Fool Me Once, You can't..um, er"; "How to Choke on a Pretzel and Still be President"; "I know I Am, But What Are You?"; "Over the River Whine"; "How Was I Supposed to Know?" "My Pet Turdblossom" "How to Succeed at being President -- heh, heh, I said suck"
Rick
· 10 months ago
Bush to write a book: With a crayon?
Draige
· 10 months ago
Ok that made me laugh.
Dave of the Jungle
· 10 months ago
" My War Against Satan "
Rob Mule
· 10 months ago
Just as soon as Mummy and Laurie settle on a ghostwriter...Does former NBC'er Jamie Gangel only blow Poppy in public? Mebbe Mann Coulter can loan Dubya some of it's teevee book tour micromini a lines??? The dress is a beautifully neutral backdrop for baboonish hysteria and straw men...
PS-Book title suggestions, "Presidentin' for Dummies", "I, Bushius", "Lady Condilery's Lover", "Gone With The Mind" "The Karl of the Bushervilles" "The Preacher in the Lie" "The D. Cheney Code" "The NeoConstine Prophecy" "The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People" "The Royal Ape" "A Brief History of Slime" and, of course, "Incurious George".
KerrynowCampau
· 10 months ago
Your suggested book titles are hilarious!!!
SoCal Guy
· 10 months ago
"My Pet Goat" or "Pat the Bunny"
nicho
· 10 months ago
This made me laugh out loud:
The timing: "Well, I'll say two years and it will be four. I don't know. I mean, yes, I'd like to get it done. I am a Type A personality that -- you know, I require things to do, and I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."
A Type A personality? As long as "A" stands for asshole. The guy has never done an honest day's work in his life.
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
I think he's confusing personality types with blood types.
one other thing, usually 'type A' personalities are given that distinction by SOMEONE ELSE... 'type A's' usually don't refer to themselves as 'type A', the ones that I know anyway.
he does excel at mediocrity and reversal of fortune for everyone outside his circle though... I suppose those are accomplisments of some sort, right?
nicho
· 10 months ago
OTOH -- he could be right. Important characteristic of Type A:
Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness, which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse’, for example.
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
I guess my ex WAS a type A after all.
TexMex
· 10 months ago
yeah that is why he took so many vacations to clear brush. Git er done. bzzzzzzzzzzzz
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
title??
"How I destroyed America in eight years- my strategery"
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
another question remains...
will 'The man in the yellow hat' figure in his book anywhere?
just curious.
MikeinSanJo
· 10 months ago
That wasn't very nice.
Heh-heh-heh...
mamazboy
· 10 months ago
Hilarious (and right-on) comment, John!
Phil
· 10 months ago
It'll probably be a pop-up book.
TomsOld
· 10 months ago
There might even be words on the pages.
Soundboy_jeff_meanie
· 10 months ago
yes, but will it rhyme ala Dr. Suess?
codger
· 10 months ago
Has anybody notified Oprah?
Kevin
· 10 months ago
Great ? ! An entire chapter devoted to that #$@#$%^$ carpet!
Constant Comment
· 10 months ago
Has best-seller written all over it.
Jim Olson
· 10 months ago
We should agree now to simply not purchase it. There will be free copies at the library. Boycotting the book and having it be a commercial failure will send a message.
Aaron
· 10 months ago
"To serve Man"?? It could be written by Bush or Barney!
roger rabbit
· 10 months ago
Paging Karen! Paging Karen! This guy coudn't write a term paper much less a book.
Bubbles
· 10 months ago
Excerts from the book:
Plain or peanut chocolate or vanilla chunky or creamy tax cuts for the rich or tax cuts for the really rich sausage or pepperoni bacon or ham beer or whiskey or both clear shrubbery or ride bike go to work or go on another vacation ice cream or pudding chicken or beef mustard or catchup Condi or Laura Laura or Jeff Gannon Jeff Gannon or Dick Cheney up or down in or out left or right cake or pie potato or rice
bluestockton
· 10 months ago
Boxers or briefs?
curlytoes79
· 10 months ago
"My First Presidentiary"
TexMex
· 10 months ago
He is going to have to steal and change Al Franken's book title. I am the Liar in Chief and these are the lies I tell.
xjn
· 10 months ago
The best part of this was that when asked about the book on Fox Sunday morning he said: (straight from the whitehouse.gov website.)
"I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."
Here's yer problem! You've been ruled by Larry the Cable Guy for the last 8 years...
Paul
· 10 months ago
Cool! I've been waiting to see what ever happened to that pet goat.
KerrynowCampau
· 10 months ago
Here is hoping it does as well as the book that Cheney's daughter put out......
RitornaVincitor
· 10 months ago
Bush could write about how tough a decision it was to remain on vacation and play the guitar with Mark Willis while bodies floated in the streets of New Orleans. He could describe the tough decision to finally cut his vacation short two days after Katrina and return to Washington to start patting Brownie on the back.
Subtitled: " Look! See Dick! See Dick run ... the country over the cliff!"
vkobaya
· 10 months ago
Too bad! I mean it is pretty hard to stab your own eyes out with a crayon.
Jennifer
· 10 months ago
Another title:
Whocudanode?
As in, Whocudanode about the mortgage bubble? Whocudanode about airplanes hitting the WTC? Whocudanode about massive fraud on Wall Street? Golly, Whocudanode!
This has been the Whocudanode Administration. I would call them idiots, but that would insinuate that they are blameless. After so many mistakes, it almost makes me believe that this whole thing was maliciously planned, because NOBODY gets it wrong that often without trying.
All Comments
Giving Up Pretzels Was The Hardest Work I Ever Done
After giving up drinking, cocaine and Jimmy Jeff Gannon Guckert.
~ by George W. Bush
Jack Daniels or Jim Beam...it's hard out there for a drunken chimp.
"twinkle Twinkle Little Star, how I wonder what you are; up above the world so high, like a tea tray in the sky"
I think we know his choice.
Yeah! In one week I can sing:
"Munchkins
Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!
Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead. She's gone where the goblins go,
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong' the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Wicked Witch is dead!
Mayor
As Mayor of the Munchkin City, In the County of the Land of Oz, I welcome you most regally.
Barrister
But we've got to verify it legally, to see
Mayor
To see?
Barrister
If she
Mayor
If she?
Barrister
Is morally, ethic'lly
Father No.1
Spiritually, physically
Father No. 2
Positively, absolutely
Munchkins
Undeniably and reliably Dead
Coroner
As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her.
And she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead.
Mayor
Then this is a day of Independence For all the Munchkins and their descendants
Barrister
If any.
Mayor
Yes, let the joyous news be spread The wicked Old Witch at last id dead!"
I think we know his choice.
---
well, ya gotta agree with him. Pepsi burns when you snort it.
:-)
maybe he should make the pages out of Charmin, just in case?
"The Base" will buy the book -- many of them will buy multiple copies. I was at a book signing by Newt Gingrich a year or two ago. (I was working.) There was a huge line. At the front of the line was a young guy -- late 20s/early 30's -- who had 10 copies of the book. He was going to give them to his family members for Christmas. He said they all adored Newtie.
/snark
Let's see, as I understand it, "being President is haaaaaard!" Oh, then, the choices--the choices. Well, being the good Deciderer that he is, I'm sure something scintillating can be written. Perhaps, how Dick Cheney really was the power behind the throne (despite Darth's lame efforts to deny it).
pop-up or coloring?
Carlotta: Reading a book?
Kitty: Yes. It's all about civilization or something. A nutty kind of a book. Do you know that the guy says that machinery is going to take the place of every profession?
Carlotta: Oh, my dear, that's something you need never worry about.
--Dinner at Eight
Another child left tragically behind.
How about:
'Profiles in Wimpishness',
"Fool Me Once, You can't..um, er";
"How to Choke on a Pretzel and Still be President";
"I know I Am, But What Are You?";
"Over the River Whine";
"How Was I Supposed to Know?"
"My Pet Turdblossom"
"How to Succeed at being President -- heh, heh, I said suck"
With a crayon?
Mebbe Mann Coulter can loan Dubya some of it's teevee book tour micromini a lines???
The dress is a beautifully neutral backdrop for baboonish hysteria and straw men...
PS-Book title suggestions, "Presidentin' for Dummies", "I, Bushius", "Lady Condilery's Lover", "Gone With The Mind" "The Karl of the Bushervilles" "The Preacher in the Lie" "The D. Cheney Code" "The NeoConstine Prophecy" "The 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People" "The Royal Ape" "A Brief History of Slime" and, of course, "Incurious George".
"Pat the Bunny"
The timing: "Well, I'll say two years and it will be four. I don't know. I mean, yes, I'd like to get it done. I am a Type A personality that -- you know, I require things to do, and I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."
A Type A personality? As long as "A" stands for asshole. The guy has never done an honest day's work in his life.
one other thing, usually 'type A' personalities are given that distinction by SOMEONE ELSE... 'type A's' usually don't refer to themselves as 'type A', the ones that I know anyway.
he does excel at mediocrity and reversal of fortune for everyone outside his circle though... I suppose those are accomplisments of some sort, right?
Free-Floating Hostility or Aggressiveness, which shows up as impatience, rudeness, being easily upset over small things, or ‘having a short fuse’, for example.
"How I destroyed America in eight years- my strategery"
will 'The man in the yellow hat' figure in his book anywhere?
just curious.
Heh-heh-heh...
An entire chapter devoted to that #$@#$%^$ carpet!
It could be written by Bush or Barney!
Plain or peanut
chocolate or vanilla
chunky or creamy
tax cuts for the rich or tax cuts for the really rich
sausage or pepperoni
bacon or ham
beer or whiskey or both
clear shrubbery or ride bike
go to work or go on another vacation
ice cream or pudding
chicken or beef
mustard or catchup
Condi or Laura
Laura or Jeff Gannon
Jeff Gannon or Dick Cheney
up or down
in or out
left or right
cake or pie
potato or rice
I am the Liar in Chief and these are the lies I tell.
"I bet once I get going on this book, I'll be able to get 'er done."
Here's yer problem! You've been ruled by Larry the Cable Guy for the last 8 years...
http://talkleft.com/bushplaysguitar.jpg
"Wha' Happened?"
Subtitled: " Look! See Dick! See Dick run ... the country over the cliff!"
Whocudanode?
As in, Whocudanode about the mortgage bubble? Whocudanode about airplanes hitting the WTC? Whocudanode about massive fraud on Wall Street? Golly, Whocudanode!
This has been the Whocudanode Administration. I would call them idiots, but that would insinuate that they are blameless. After so many mistakes, it almost makes me believe that this whole thing was maliciously planned, because NOBODY gets it wrong that often without trying.