Lovely thoughts. Perhaps with the economic troubles people are having, more will start thinking this way.
But as soon as we have "boom times" again, many will go back to the old ways...
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
We are not giving any "gifts" this year at all. I emailed all my family and friends and said to them that if they really need a new pair of slippers or some appliance they really DON'T need, to send that money instead to a charity with a rating over 90%. Meaning that ninety cents on the dollar goes direct to the needy. Instead, my partner and I helped his sister clean her filthy house preparing her to move. Nearly broke our brand new Dyson but I fixed it. I gave of my time, not money I don't have. Tomorrow night we'll go down to a shelter and see if they need cleaning done...the filthier the better and not in view of other do-gooders in Dallas trying for some kind of warm and fuzzy photo op by ladelling out soups for the news media. This national annual credit orgy is disgusting. People are behaving like animals at malls. I mean, who would Jesus shove and push at the 99% off sale????
Older_Wiser
· 11 months ago
Congratulations...you're a far more valuable human being (and your partner) than those who would torment you with their reactionary viciousness.
Thanks to my son's boss who gave me $200 (I bake cookies for him every week but it's not quid pro quo, at least on my part), I was able to give $50 ea to my 2 grandkids who really need the money (one works for a dr and has a baby, and the other works at Domino's), and a pair of coveralls for my son I live with, whose old pair was torn in a number of places and covered with duct tape...he needs them for work (and fishing, his one true love). Got a new sweat hoody for myself (all I wear all winter) and will fix a nice meal tomorrow for family visitors. No one in my immediate family has very much money and certainly not tons of it.
We're lucky my son is still working (commercial construction) and all of it's enough. We need more unconditional love and respect, not mere things.
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
At my Jewish day school we have an expression that I like a lot..."God is God, and stuff is stuff but stuff won't help you when things get rough."
If I were a rich man, Older, I would send you folks some cash this Christmas. Quietly, anonymously, and not tell anyone here on the blogs. But we are living paycheck to paycheck and do not want for anything other than maybe air fare once in a while to visit my daughter in Europe. Instead,though, let me give you this gift of my spirit. Many times these last few years, your posts here have either made me chuckle, or made me feel better about life. And frankly those are worth far more than any other gift I've gotten.
(I do want to share one little story this year...my students flood us with Starbucks gift cards. This year I think it totalled over $500. We re-gift them back out to friends as needed and then also treat ourselves to some bean coffees that last until about March. Well this year one father attached the most gorgeous holiday card of his three girls...I teach two of them, the third is still in preschool...it was an expensive photo shoot and card printing but it was utterly enchanting...the girls dancing on the beach in cute little tu-tu style dresses...laughing and dancing and just plain being adorable. I wrote him a lovely thank-you email and said that although the Starbucks will be delightful, the holiday card was even more valuable to me...because the card made me laugh and made me appreciate having his kids in my classes. He is a very wealthy lawyer. A nice family raising their three girls with good solid Jewish values. When he got my email, he said that he teared up because the greeting card meant more to me than the Starbucks card. Whether it's Chanukkah or Xmas, this is the real reason for the season.
Older_Wiser
· 11 months ago
Thanks for the loving thoughts and that great story--but I've been through about 6 "recessions" in my life, and I was born poor, so it's no big deal not having money! Even when I thought I was finally entering the "middle class" in the 90s in my 50s, it was snatched away, so I know what other people are going through these days. When I look back, though, as modest as my "middle class" status was, it didn't present many challenges to an old radical like me who has pretty much seen it all. Because of my politics, I've met lots of different people I might not have if I'd just settled for being "normal" (and gotten a lot of love, too!) : )
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
Since I was about fifteen, I'd always wanted to be a teacher. Well back in 1980, a banker laughed at me for wanting to try to get a mortgage for my first home. It got me to thinking. So after a year or two, I went into business...advertising. I lasted a year.Made a ton of money. It was appalling listening to the big wigs talk about how they would screw this guy and screw that guy and rape and pillage a client here and a client there...I was nauseous at some team meetings. Taking crap and dressing it up to sell like gold. I began to feel guilty. And so back to the classroom and stayed there ever since. I make barely enough to subsist on but it's a calling and I love my kids...even the naughty ones, with whom I lower the Sword of Damaclese when they are outta line...and those kids give me the best holiday gifts...ROFL. I know that I've touched the future and many lives. I hear back from former students who've gone on to great successes in their lives and credit ME with all of their good fortune...LOL...I tell them it was hardly me but they insist. And THAT is the reason for my very being. I will die poor but I will die very satisfied.
ShirleyGoodnessanMercy
· 11 months ago
God bless you BQiD. We need more teachers like you!! Best wishes for a marvelous 2009.
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
Thanks Shirleygoodness. There really are some of us in this profession who love kids and who are not totally incompetent ignorant fools. Of course in surveys down here in the Biblestan, the one profession they say we should NOT be allowed in is education. Well the laugh is on them. The best teachers I've known, at the elementary level anyway, were gay men. The kids love us. We have a kind of mischievous childlike quality that they bond with very easily. And we are also very strict but with tough love...love and logic. I get more Chanukkah gifts than anyone else from the kids. Good heavens my Starbucks cards this year went over $500!!! That's a record. 2009 had to be better WITHOUT Chimpy at the helm of the ship of State.
SCLiberal
· 11 months ago
Your time is far more valuable than money anyway. Wow, you are behaving as Jesus taught us to do. Now if only the "christians" would catch on too!
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
ROFL...yup living Jesus' message...as I begin conversion to Judaism from Anglican Agnostic...LOL I get the last laugh
SCLiberal
· 11 months ago
Another "last laugh": if one closely examines Jesus' teachings, one finds that they are far more closely aligned to Buddhist philosophy. :)
Bostonian_Queer_in_Dallas
· 11 months ago
Actually the mainstream Protestant churches, in the Northeastern Ivy League Divinity School regions, used to be fairly close to Jesus' message. It's these white trash uppity polyester self-ordained Elmer Gantry's down here in Dumbfuckistan that have fucked it up so badly. If he ever does have his Second Coming, I think he'll look at Ricky Warren and the Lady Robertson and hold his hand over his eyes and say, "I know thee not."
ShirleyGoodnessanMercy
· 11 months ago
You got that right! In the South, the most Christian-acting people are always the non-Christians. Homeless and mentally ill people get their attention a few hours a year if that much, and we gay folks get spat upon by their ignorant asses year round.
grandma
· 11 months ago
I really liked your friend's holiday letter.....thanks Chris and Merry Christmas to you and yours !
dula
· 11 months ago
I work at a residential facility for mentally ill folks in crisis...most of whom are homeless. This year we were able to set aside enough money to buy all our Clients brand new beautiful jackets and gift bags of lotions and treats to eat. We have a real Christmas tree which the Clients decorated themselves. There will be a fine holiday meal tomorrow too. The mood in the House is fun and festive and even our most chronically ill Clients are in good spirits: Yesterday one of our Clients, who is responding to internal stimuli (hearing voices) was out on the patio listening to her voices. Thankfully, for her, her voices are mostly benevolent(her angels she says) that say nice things to her rather than the tormenting voices other Clients report. She's on the patio conversing with her voices, and a Staff member reminds her that it is her turn to set the table. She turns to Staff and says sweetly, "just a minute, can't you see I'm talking to someone." So, there is good news to report here. Happy holidays to everybody!
Steve_in_CNJ
· 11 months ago
nice thoughts! our contributions come through our relationships and outreach to others and also through our jobs and ambition. sometimes it's hard find the balance. not meaning to be too maudlin, i think one of the stages of growing up is developing a palpable sense that you will lose your life one day. but another stage is realizing that all of your relationships come with an egg timer that you can't re-set, and that some of those losses will be unbearable. in my case it would have been good to reach the second stage first. would have taught me that the first one is not so all-important!
SCLiberal
· 11 months ago
What a wonderful letter. Thanks for sharing.
terry
· 11 months ago
Thanks for the Uplifting Christmas Eve Post.... Wishing You and Yours a Blessed Christmas and a Joyful filled New Year...Let us indeed live it with GUSTO! Keep up Your Wonderful work.............TT
ShirleyGoodnessanMercy
· 11 months ago
My first thought was "An old Swedish farmer"? There are Swedish farmers?? That has to be a rough climate to be a farmer in!
NMRon
· 11 months ago
Colette. I love that name. Tell her Merry Christmas from a well wisher, please.
Gary Williams
· 11 months ago
I have been HIV+ for nearly 32 years; one apartment was 'torched' because they didn't want any 'fags' in the neighborhood (the police wouldn't help); I've been bashed; lost jobs for being gay; was accused by one brother of lying about being HIV+ because "you aren't dead yet"; and was attacked at my mother's funeral at a high-Episcopal church (Evanston, Il) by relatives where 2 priests pinned my brother-in-law to stop him; attacked by a gang in downtown SF in broad daylight on a Wednesday at lunchtime with hundreds around (no one helped) -- bashing 'fags' for recreational 'fun'; ... the litany goes on ...
But:
though HIV+ for nearly 32 years, I'm on no medication (in a group of 200 out of 40,000,000 infected) and I'm being studied towards the creation of a therapeutic vaccine to confer my immunity to others, potentially saving millions and potentially eliminating the need for medication; I am a founder of Chicago's Howard Brown Health Center (1974); a member of the original Integrity chapter (gay Episcopalians, Chicago, 1974); I chaired The Parsonage in SF in 1983 (first official outreach by the Episcopal church to the LGBT community); and much more ...
Due to HIV, with friends dropping like flies and dying (in SF in the 80's), for me 'the other shoe' never dropped (even though many treated me as though I was already dead); I've been HIV+ for more than half of my life (I'm 53) and still thriving ...
Like the change in the wind with a new president, Christmas is a time to notice new beginnings even amidst the squalor around us. I have been teaching myself high-end photography and will be getting a digital SLR camera for Xmas. I've always been a 'die-hard' optimist, and who knows, I may outlive all my doubters.
Though I haven't spoken to my immediate family in 7 years (since my mother's death), I know that each of my 2 brothers and 2 sisters are on unique paths of their own, and I have faith that my travails are just challenges along our paths.
I wish them and all the other 'speed bumps' throughout my life the hope that our encounters have awakened in them better possibilities. I philosophically layout a feast; it's up to them to come to the table, pick something up, and run with it.
To all for whom this season marks the beginnings of hard economic times, know that these may become the best of times for learning to "love thy neighbor as thyself" and more.
All Comments
But as soon as we have "boom times" again, many will go back to the old ways...
Thanks to my son's boss who gave me $200 (I bake cookies for him every week but it's not quid pro quo, at least on my part), I was able to give $50 ea to my 2 grandkids who really need the money (one works for a dr and has a baby, and the other works at Domino's), and a pair of coveralls for my son I live with, whose old pair was torn in a number of places and covered with duct tape...he needs them for work (and fishing, his one true love). Got a new sweat hoody for myself (all I wear all winter) and will fix a nice meal tomorrow for family visitors. No one in my immediate family has very much money and certainly not tons of it.
We're lucky my son is still working (commercial construction) and all of it's enough. We need more unconditional love and respect, not mere things.
God, and stuff is stuff but stuff won't help you when things get rough."
If I were a rich man, Older, I would send you folks some cash this
Christmas. Quietly, anonymously, and not tell anyone here on the blogs. But
we are living paycheck to paycheck and do not want for anything other than
maybe air fare once in a while to visit my daughter in Europe.
Instead,though, let me give you this gift of my spirit. Many times these
last few years, your posts here have either made me chuckle, or made me feel
better about life. And frankly those are worth far more than any other gift
I've gotten.
(I do want to share one little story this year...my students flood us with
Starbucks gift cards. This year I think it totalled over $500. We re-gift
them back out to friends as needed and then also treat ourselves to some
bean coffees that last until about March. Well this year one father attached
the most gorgeous holiday card of his three girls...I teach two of them, the
third is still in preschool...it was an expensive photo shoot and card
printing but it was utterly enchanting...the girls dancing on the beach in
cute little tu-tu style dresses...laughing and dancing and just plain being
adorable. I wrote him a lovely thank-you email and said that although the
Starbucks will be delightful, the holiday card was even more valuable to
me...because the card made me laugh and made me appreciate having his kids
in my classes. He is a very wealthy lawyer. A nice family raising their
three girls with good solid Jewish values. When he got my email, he said
that he teared up because the greeting card meant more to me than the
Starbucks card. Whether it's Chanukkah or Xmas, this is the real reason for
the season.
1980, a banker laughed at me for wanting to try to get a mortgage for my
first home. It got me to thinking. So after a year or two, I went into
business...advertising. I lasted a year.Made a ton of money. It was
appalling listening to the big wigs talk about how they would screw this guy
and screw that guy and rape and pillage a client here and a client there...I
was nauseous at some team meetings. Taking crap and dressing it up to sell
like gold. I began to feel guilty. And so back to the classroom and stayed
there ever since. I make barely enough to subsist on but it's a calling and
I love my kids...even the naughty ones, with whom I lower the Sword of
Damaclese when they are outta line...and those kids give me the best holiday
gifts...ROFL. I know that I've touched the future and many lives. I hear
back from former students who've gone on to great successes in their lives
and credit ME with all of their good fortune...LOL...I tell them it was
hardly me but they insist. And THAT is the reason for my very being. I will
die poor but I will die very satisfied.
love kids and who are not totally incompetent ignorant fools. Of course in
surveys down here in the Biblestan, the one profession they say we should
NOT be allowed in is education. Well the laugh is on them. The best teachers
I've known, at the elementary level anyway, were gay men. The kids love us.
We have a kind of mischievous childlike quality that they bond with very
easily. And we are also very strict but with tough love...love and logic. I
get more Chanukkah gifts than anyone else from the kids. Good heavens my
Starbucks cards this year went over $500!!! That's a record. 2009 had to be
better WITHOUT Chimpy at the helm of the ship of State.
Anglican Agnostic...LOL I get the last laugh
Divinity School regions, used to be fairly close to Jesus' message. It's
these white trash uppity polyester self-ordained Elmer Gantry's down here in
Dumbfuckistan that have fucked it up so badly. If he ever does have his
Second Coming, I think he'll look at Ricky Warren and the Lady Robertson and
hold his hand over his eyes and say, "I know thee not."
Homeless and mentally ill people get their attention a few hours a year if that much, and we gay folks get spat upon by their ignorant asses year round.
So, there is good news to report here. Happy holidays to everybody!
Wishing You and Yours a Blessed Christmas and a Joyful filled New Year...Let us indeed live it with GUSTO!
Keep up Your Wonderful work.............TT
That has to be a rough climate to be a farmer in!
But:
though HIV+ for nearly 32 years, I'm on no medication (in a group of 200 out of 40,000,000 infected) and I'm being studied towards the creation of a therapeutic vaccine to confer my immunity to others, potentially saving millions and potentially eliminating the need for medication; I am a founder of Chicago's Howard Brown Health Center (1974); a member of the original Integrity chapter (gay Episcopalians, Chicago, 1974); I chaired The Parsonage in SF in 1983 (first official outreach by the Episcopal church to the LGBT community); and much more ...
Due to HIV, with friends dropping like flies and dying (in SF in the 80's), for me 'the other shoe' never dropped (even though many treated me as though I was already dead); I've been HIV+ for more than half of my life (I'm 53) and still thriving ...
Like the change in the wind with a new president, Christmas is a time to notice new beginnings even amidst the squalor around us. I have been teaching myself high-end photography and will be getting a digital SLR camera for Xmas. I've always been a 'die-hard' optimist, and who knows, I may outlive all my doubters.
Though I haven't spoken to my immediate family in 7 years (since my mother's death), I know that each of my 2 brothers and 2 sisters are on unique paths of their own, and I have faith that my travails are just challenges along our paths.
I wish them and all the other 'speed bumps' throughout my life the hope that our encounters have awakened in them better possibilities. I philosophically layout a feast; it's up to them to come to the table, pick something up, and run with it.
To all for whom this season marks the beginnings of hard economic times, know that these may become the best of times for learning to "love thy neighbor as thyself" and more.
Ever the optimist.
--Inspiritor--