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note to chris: houston/harris county is now a democratically voting city/county and will quite likely elect the first openly lesbian, partnered, adoptive parent to MAYOR. GOT THAT? HOUSTON. FOURTH LARGEST CITY IN THE US. LESBIAN MAYOR.
just because tom delay, rick perry and the bush clan claim texas as home doesn't make the whole state "teh stoopid".
after 8 years of shrub, progressive texans are getting pretty sensitive.
we've come a long way and have a long way to go, yet, but we're making huge strides.
Undermentalia (anti-science R & D area w/gov't torture facility)
Crazyopia (rec. area with tea-bagging theme waterpark)
Kookus (cultural-relig. area & race segregated housing)
Uneducatica (K-5 schools only w/creationism museum)
The combination of the five states could form a country, a region, or a province known collectively as F.U.C.K.U. Maybe we could turn it into a penal colony and dump our felons there. And Texans all are clamoring for a fence, so I think we could fence F.U.C.K.U. off from the U.S.A. (maybe a border fence combined with a mine field). Their useless unit of currency could be a "gop." The flag of F.U.C.K.U. could be an image of Jesus riding a dinosaur or an elephant.
The Texas Supreme Court could be renamed the F.U.C.K.U. Supreme Council, with judges wearing white robes (cone-shaped headpieces would be optional).
High-level administration and cabinet-level position nominees might be as follows:
David Vitter: "Vice" President
Mitt Romney: Chief of Staff Up His Ass
John McCain: Department of Geriatrics & Lost Integrity
Rush Limbaugh: Department of Miseducation
Sarah Palin: Department of Personal Commerce & Shopping
Glenn Beck: Department of Needs Help & Human Services
Bobby Jindhal: Exorcistamental Protection Agency
Sean Hannity: Department of Lame Ass Defenses
Rudy Guliani: Veteran of Many Affairs Department
Newt Gingrich: Department of Treasured Hypocrisy
Tim Pawlenty: Department of Laboring Under the Misimpression That He's Actually Relevant
Michelle Bachman: Honorary Idiot of Bible Belt Village
Tom Delay: Ambastarddor to the U.N.
The possibilities are endless........
Northeastern region (Capital: Dallas): State of Petrolia
Southeastern coastal region (Capital: Houston): Protectorate of New New Orleans
Southeastern Non-Contiguous inland region (Summer Capital: Austin, Winter Capital: San Antonio): Commonwealth of Gerrymandria
Northern Panhandle & Central Region (Capital: Lubbock): A.S.G.L.: Alliance of Sovereign Grazing Lands
Southwestern Counties Bordering Rio Grande (Capital: El Paso): Territory of Dobbsylvania
By my calculations, the Senatorial split would likely run 6 R, and 4 D.
With the addition of DC as the 55th state, that would give us 2 more D Senators, and everything's a wash!
North Whiteyland (e.g. south oklahoma)
South Whiteyland (e.g. west louisiana)
El Rio Cuerdo (Brownsville to El Paso)
Austin Free Zone (Austin, San Antonio, and the hill country)
he'd think it was an odd name... but it'd go right over his head.
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Dingleberry
Wankerzona
Crustybush
Weejohnson
Jesusland
Your comments are being held for monitor approval.
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We should move the fence tot he Oklahoman border if that is the case.
The only good Texan is a dead Texan!
Really? gee, that would make a great hand made sign at a teabagging party.
Sarcasm does not translate well in writing.
I love Texas, I love Texans! But if they want to secede then fine. Have at it!!!!
that's the point i've been trying to get across.
That's one toke over the line, sobyrne4.
More will be deleted.
2) Bugmanville (greater Houston/southeast TX region)
3) Bubbaland (west Texas)
4) Bible Belt Village (north central Texas and east Texas)
5) Liberalia (greater Austin area)
*Actually, the suffix -stan comes from the old Persian/Farsi word meaning land, country, or place of. So it has little to do with Muslims at all, and more to do with your own misconception.
Also, Iraq, Afghanistan, and No. 10 Downing Street. With Palau, that brings the total to 64.
He only "pretended" to be from Pennsylvania.
That would include the states of Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and California as well as dribs and drabs of some others including Nevada and Utah.
Pity the Mormons who fled the United States and went to Mexico only to be invaded and occupied by the US Federal government.
JESUSITAN
THERE IS AN I IN JESUSITAN
as in
I want this.
YOU can't have that.
Big Texas
Lil' Texas
Shemp
Road Apple
Lee Harvey Oswald
ChristoTalibanistan
Delayistan
Cheneysgunistan
Bushsburg
Perryville (Unincorporated)
Nuclear Artillery Testing Range
2. South Texass
3. West Texass
4. East Texass
5. Austin Territory
Waaaaasistan
---
I'm sure someone would offer up Jesustan... I'm confident there'd also be a group that wanted 'REAL AMERICA!' (the name should always be in caps and followed with an exclaimation mark).
and then there'd be a war in the former Texas.
Jesustan vs REAL AMURICKA!
Mexico would conquer whoever was left.
New D'oh!rleans
Newest Mexico
Alabubba
For Christ's sake we are surrounded by redneck freaks-istan
1. Howdy
2. Spur
3. Big-T
4. Hairtease
5. Fixin'
I say put San Antonio with Austin and then I'm OK with this.
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New Mexico: So Close to Heaven, So Close to Texas
" Founders Peter Sunde and Gottfrid Svartholm Warg, along with two other employees Fredrik Neij and Carl Lundström, were sentenced to a year in jail after being found guilty in a Swedish court of making 33 copyright-protected files accessible for illegal downloading on the website Piratebay.org.
The four were also ordered to pay $3.6 m (£2.4m) in damages to copyright holders, including Warner Brothers, MGM, Columbia Pictures, 20th Century Fox Films, Sony and Universal, according to Swedish media reports. "
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector...
http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texas.asp
Don't know if they are predominately Muslim....
2. Assas 2
3. Assas 3
4. Assas 4
5. Assas 5
http://www.sagehistory.net/reconstruction/docs/...
That said, (and assuming the current electoral trend to blue is stopped) dividing Texas into 5 new states means 10 Senators out of 110. Quite a voting block when you add the other hard-core red states -- more than a simple majority... so be careful what you wish for.
The folks on this blog seem to think that two wingnuts = all Texans.
Dopey
Grumpy
Sneezy
Bashful
Feetus firstus-onia
Rube-barbonia
Faux-Cowpokia
UpChuckNorris-ville
Sexas, Mexas, New Jerusaleam, New Palistine, and New Iraq
WaBush
Limbaughstan
Land Of Liberty
Jerusalem.
with a special consideration for Drillville.
Just going for stuff they'd actually gravitate towards....
Jesustopia
Barbaraville
MidMexico
Tumbleweed
Freedomama (liberal enclave around Austin)
Arbustobama (anywhere W. and Laura live)
Fascistina (Talibangelical heartland)
Jesusordeathoma (Talibangelical heartland II)
-and-
Hell (wherever Tom Delay lives because you can't improve on that name that was suggested)
Texas is the most hated state in the union...temporarily anyway...until it secedes. *eyeroll*
thank Gawd for Nirvana. we just need to kick Perry's ass out of it.
WE LOVE YOU more than our luggage! By reading below, I've noticed some of you are thinking we are ragging on you. Au contraire! We are simply making fun of the neanderthals you have to deal with on a daily basis (Tom Delay & Co.). Believe me, I know I speak for everyone, when I say we got your backs! Liberal Texans ROCK! (Its the others we could live without)
NORTH YUCATAN!!!
East Oilahoma
Dry Gulch
Austin
South Wetback