AMERICAblog: Political debates with family over the holidays?
cjfb
· 1 year ago
No problem at our house. Canadian aunt and uncle visiting couldn't wait to talk about Obama. The entire length of the table was nothing but praise and happiness, including long time Republicans Aunt Sheila and and Uncle Henry (old money). We're proud of us!
oh_yeah
· 1 year ago
Almost totally left the subject alone. Had one and a half couples and a single who were McCain/Palin supporters, and only heard one passing allusion to politics from one of them. Let the comment slide, and no more was said. We did have an engagement announcement to distract the crowd, which helped I guess.
I was not up to any debates, thoughts were with a loved one ill in the hospital who could not be with us.
Ken H.
· 1 year ago
Well, the "family" I gathered with for Thanksgiving is my gay brothers and sisters at a gay tennis tournament here in Palm Springs, CA.
As a politically active couple, we spoke politics to those we also knew were politically active. All of us are liberals, so it was nice to sit and talk about the past campaign: Obama and prop 8.
The test is Christmas when we go to Florida to visit my family. I've got a neo-con brother-in-law and a republican nephew, so we'll see how that goes. I think my mother and sister will lay down the law: No politics is to be discussed. They're afraid.
dula
· 1 year ago
All the died in the wool Republicans I know finally buckled under and voted for Obama...even the Neocon Citibank Exec...they are keeping their heads low and their pie holes shut...as it should be.
dula
· 1 year ago
Oops I mean dyed in the wool...die hard
ChristianLibrul
· 1 year ago
I'm the only communist/terist lover in my family. My brother-in-law, retired Army colonel, brought be an "Alaska" cap from a recent cruise there. When he handed it to me, I said, "Cool, did you get Sarah Palin's autograph?" He said in good humor, "No, we didn't know about her last May." We've finally reached the point where they don't start fights with me anymore, so now we can just celebrate holidays again.
Discussing politics or religion with relatives is a good way to get cut out of the will.
dula
· 1 year ago
It's a good way to get cut period.
James
· 1 year ago
We assiduously avoid any and all political comments. Sex, politics and religion to some extent are to be avoided at all costs in our large and diverse family. We are thankful to be together - and that facade can only be maintained in the the absence of anything that might (and certainly would) stir debate. The election results were the pink elephant in the room this year, and dutifully no one mentioned it.
Nick_the_Dog
· 1 year ago
What is there to say? We all (me, wife, and four pups) sat around the table stuffing turkey and all the trimmings into our mouths, while telling near raunchy jokes. Best Thanksgiving in 8 long years.
unrepentant_expat
· 1 year ago
To avoid that kind of nasty debate, I've put an international border between me and the part of the family that thinks FDR was a communist. They're wrong of course, that was my father's side of the family that was waving the 'the hammer and sickle'. When asked why I don't come down for the holidays I claim I'm on the 'no fly list'.
hawkseye
· 1 year ago
LOL!!! Great excuse!
elRey
· 1 year ago
"Obama is okay I guess, but what about all that 'socialism stuff' he's going to do, and I heard the first thing on his agenda is to go after Bush for war crimes or torturing or something..."
UGH! This is my 27 year old cousin from Orange County CA. I tried to be patient... and educate him in a loving way ;)
unrepentant_expat
· 1 year ago
PSssst...I hope your cousin's right... about Obama, that is.
linda Smith
· 1 year ago
We have the same kind of family. Military, liberals, teachers, union members, gay, straight. But this year we toasted the new president! As one member of this gang of 20 said. when did we ever toast a president and wish him well?
Joel
· 1 year ago
Funny you should mention it... I really got into it with my closest sibling. I wish I had kept my mouth shut because now there are hurt feelings and that's not what you want on a holiday. I am personally resolving not to do this again.
Mighty
· 1 year ago
In my family its a non politics time. We know each other have differences of opinion so we keep that for other days. The holidays are for being with family and enjoying being together. We talk about a host of other subjects including what we are cooking, sports, work, family etc.
vickif
· 1 year ago
i got rid of the only Repug in the family, divorced the husband who couldn't handle having his oldest son being gay and having a life partner. Since I had a gay uncle-whom my ex had met numerous times over the years-it shouldn't have been such a big shock to him. To him it was okay for my uncle to be gay but not HIS son. Everyone else in my family has no problem at all.
hawkseye
· 1 year ago
Good for you!
hawkseye
· 1 year ago
Kay and I just moved to a retirement community---Friends House---here in northern California: largely straight, half the residents are Quaker and they are all so welcoming, we are continually surprised. We were too tired to deal with the 18 or more family that would have showed up as usual. We've still got boxes to unpack and haven't hung any pictures. PS: We didn't talk politics, probably because everyone here agrees. So we took one granddaughter with us to delicious dinner here in the community dining room (bring yer own wine). Great salad, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, turkey, cranberry sauce, rolls and very good pumpkin pie. Granddaughter is vegetarian, and they had a tofu/mushroom/wild rice loaf that she said was excellent. About half the residents (ages 60 to 95) were present, and again, we experienced a round of smiling welcomes and "so glad you're here" and "congratulations on your wedding". (These Quakers are of the liberal branch who have no problem with same-sex marriage. They are also all Democrats or Greens. Not a Republican on the premesis.) One resident is named Bush, and he has taken to putting "N.R." after his name signifying that he is "not related." It turns out, a couple about our age, who live two doors down from us, has a gay son who just got married, too. So, we are settling right in and very, very thankful we moved here.
falloch
· 1 year ago
What an amazing sounding place!! Can I reserve a place now for 2023??
Just got through Turkey day dinner w/ Repub mom, aunt and uncle, and their sparky non-Repug daughters, who seemed happy to find out her middle-aged aunt is still an old hippie and ally. But politics was confined to the hors'd'oeuvres. Once dinner was on the table it was how to teach over-70s to use set boxes and cable tv, followed by dessert and ridiculous family memories that set everyone crying with laughter for an hour or two.
And thanks to those who had to work today - hospitals, railroads, airports, power stations, police. I went up to the local CVS this morning for a paper, and said to the woman at the checkout that I hope she would have a nice T'giving. She said she'd be there till 10 o'clock. When I looked at her in disbelief, she said in earlier years, they'd be let off at 4, but not this year. I said 'they must be desperate' - she said, yeah. We've got stores here in NY opening up at 4 am Friday morning - it's all very well if you want to buy something but pity those people who are serving you - betcha they're not getting overtime, they're just getting to keep their jobs.
hawkseye
· 1 year ago
There are five Friends House retirement centers in the U.S. We were on the waiting list for five years. I don't know if they all try to keep the population at 50% Quaker, or not, but here they do.
I was touched by the rest of your post re CVS hours. Lots of retail sales people are practically slaves.
Robert
· 1 year ago
Insane. Yelling, arguing, one calling another a commie who needs re-education, another calling someone a fascist. But everyone thought it was great fun. really.
cowboyneok
· 1 year ago
Yea, its all fun and games until someone puts an eye out.
T P
· 1 year ago
Throw in some fundamentalist (and to many of us, extreme) Christianity and things can go nuclear. Everyone kept it cool today...but...I still left after a few hours. Many craters remain from past holiday shrieking matches.
In my family, for some reason the Republican faction always seems to be able to gloat and brag if their party wins but if they lose, everyone is supposed to respect their disappointment. Me? Well, homie don't play that... and I'm usually not very popular, but its been a long time since this homie won any popularity contests around here in Red State Oklahoma! LOL...
For the life of me, though, I don't understand why Republicans think they should just be able to spout Fox News talking points and go unchallenged. When they are challenged, by me, its as if someone farted! It reminds me of the episode on the Daily Show with Bill O'Rielly claiming a teddy bear was a panda bear, and expecting Jon Stewart and the studio audience to allow his ignorance to go unchallenged. I guess its the cross I must bear for living in one of the reddest states?
Today's Republican meme, "Somehow the attacks in India are proof we are being attacked because of Obama." No, it doesn't matter its in India. No, it doesn't matter Obama isn't President, yet. It does matter Joe Biden said "Obama was going to be tested..." and the Republican Noise machine pushed that ignorant meme earlier today.
Of course, I had to remind them the dialect of the attackers proved they were Pakistani and its further proof of how Al-Qaida has splintered and become more dangerous because of the ineffective and incompetent "war on terra!" Then, of course, everyone needs to forget what was previously said about Obama somehow being at fault and we are supposed to "Thank baby Jesus Dubya hasn't allowed another attack on the homeland!" Its just amazing how Fox News has trained them to suspend their logic, and not entertain reason.
Actually, the Republicans were a lot worse the last few years. I do think the hard times are starting to sink in, and there was far less gloating about how wonderful their savior Dubya is. They are still pretty shell shocked over the election.
intrigued
· 1 year ago
Not. A. Single. Word.
I am the only democrat and Obama voter...so after 8 years, the silence was nice. I guess they were too busy eating their crow. :)
stefanzo
· 1 year ago
we're all a bunch of lefties among our Thanksgiving crowd.
Did you hear this one?
Palin, looking at the 2012 elections, will by studying hard between now and then. So she's moving to Juneau where she can see a library from her house...
;-)
nustudoon
· 12 months ago
OH.....MY.....GOD..... That is just too funny!!!
Cointreau
· 1 year ago
Lots of crow dished out today, but little stuck in my fag-a-hatin' war-a-lovin' fundie in-laws. Instead I heard:
1. Tons of bashing of day late/dollar short no-on-8 efforts here in SoCal. "They lost, marriage won. Can't "they" just get over it?"
2. Pity parties for the poor, oppressed home-schooling community having to meet CA state education standards.
3. America needs to kill the big 3 to save American heavy manufacturing from the unions.
4. Bill Clinton eviscerated our clandestine/humint capabilities and is thus to blame for 9/11 AND the WMD false alarm. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Bush has overseen a resurgence in those capabilities, so the intel saying Iran is getting nukes is unassailable and "something must be done." Oh, yeah. Drumming out teh gay Arabic linguists didn't hurt our security because it just didn't happen.
5. Obama is the winger's new Voldemort. In nine hours, nobody but me mentioned his name.
ivyfree
· 1 year ago
I deal with it by not seeing the family. My family of origin is distant, and my husband's family treated me like shit two years ago, and I decided not to see them again. My husband sees them occasionally; I don't . Out of courtesy I remind him of his parents' birthdays about a week or ten days in advance; after that, he's on his own. Too bad there's no legal way to divorce in-laws, but my stress level has gone way down just by ignoring their existance.
ikonoklast
· 1 year ago
It's wiser to avoid the political discussions - that's what I've learned through experience. Back in '04 right before the election, I got in a huge argument with one of my die-hard Republican uncles at his son's engagement party. My uncle was convinced that the "Islamo-fascists would be on the verge of invading the country if Bush didn't get re-elected. He also claimed that Bush was smart, but only appeared not so, because he isn't articulate. Most of my family sees the world through these Conservative Republican lenses.
Today we were talking movies over Thanksgiving dinner, and one of my cousins asked me if I'd heard of An American Carol, which apparently she saw and enjoyed. (... so disappointing on so many levels) I just played dumb and feigned ignorance until we moved on.
astroworf
· 1 year ago
No politics at our table. My brother and his wife think Bush will go down as one of the greatest presidents of all time. I'm not arguing with anyone that out of touch with reality
dianne
· 12 months ago
During a whirlwind tour of five red states in the fall, we managed to ignore politics. The relatives were planning to be forgiving of our wrong headed views (in their opinion) and make nice after the election. To their dismay, our guy won and for that they can't forgive or forget, I guess. They have been rather frosty ever since. We live 3000 miles away and had a quiet Thanksgiving.
Cynicor
· 12 months ago
Everything was OK until I flipped past the coverage from Mumbai, and my MIL opined that they should "just shoot all the terrorists." I asked when they should've shot them - before they had done anything, while they had innocent hostages, or after they committed suicide. I also suggested that she give India a call, because they probably haven't thought of a strategy to clear the hotels yet.
tresjo
· 12 months ago
We have really attempted to have politically free Holidays in my family for the last 7 years, since my sister and I stood over the turkey screaming about the 2nd amendment. Her family are our token Republicans and think that they should be able to express their opinions while we all keep our mouths shut. This year we did well, except for the kids that is. Her 11 year old introduced herself to guests as a conservative, my 15 year old then said well that makes me a liberal. Next thing you know the 11 year old is calling the 15 year old a wako irresponsible liberal and the 15 year old is telling the 11 year old that it is the republicans who are irresponsible and immoral. Poor grandpa just sat there and said, I AM NOT IRRESPONSIBLE.
Tom
· 12 months ago
I moved to Canada a year ago, so I was able to avoid my oldest idiot Republican brother and his wife. So my family called me last night and within seconds of my brother being on the line he tells me he voted for McCain. The country is literally falling apart around them from McCain/Bush policies and he still doesn't get it. As a good ventriloquist dummy does, he started mouthing the Fox talking points against Obama. I feel bad for my parents having to listen to their crap for a week. Luckily I have to work so I missed them.
lynchie
· 12 months ago
well we fed the hungry in our area as we do every year at the fire hall. We expected 120 got 150. Politics came up a couple of times. One volunteer got into it with me saying "you never see the liberals doing this kind of thing". I pointed out this is the first time he has helped and the rest of the people here were all liberals. We feed you Republicans cause you keep electing ass wipes like Bush who destroyed the country in the past 8 years. I must say, Thanksgiving was great, it always is but the growing number of families who can't make ends meet or just don't have jobs is very depressing and winter can't end soon enough. Obama doesn't just have a hill to climb he has a mountain. We all have to do our bit a reach out and help.
Tom in Germany
· 12 months ago
How typically American... As an expat living in Europe, one of the refreshing things here is that the locals don't shy away from political discussions over dinner. In fact, a spirited exchange of opinions is fun, especially with educated people who can reference facts. What's boring would be typically endless superficial conversations about movies, sports or the latest things that someone has purchased, which is the usual dinner conversation in the US. We should learn not to avoid talking about issues.
Thanksgiving? I don't miss it.
ComradeRutherford
· 12 months ago
Nope, no political disagreement in my house. We are all leftists here.
All Comments
I was not up to any debates, thoughts were with a loved one ill in the hospital who could not be with us.
As a politically active couple, we spoke politics to those we also knew were politically active. All of us are liberals, so it was nice to sit and talk about the past campaign: Obama and prop 8.
The test is Christmas when we go to Florida to visit my family. I've got a neo-con brother-in-law and a republican nephew, so we'll see how that goes. I think my mother and sister will lay down the law: No politics is to be discussed. They're afraid.
Happy Dysfunctional Holidays!
At least we're not the turkeys, this year. Or are we?
.
UGH! This is my 27 year old cousin from Orange County CA. I tried to be patient... and educate him in a loving way ;)
We were too tired to deal with the 18 or more family that would have showed up as usual. We've still got boxes to unpack and haven't hung any pictures.
PS: We didn't talk politics, probably because everyone here agrees.
So we took one granddaughter with us to delicious dinner here in the community dining room (bring yer own wine). Great salad, stuffing,
gravy, mashed potatoes, turkey, cranberry sauce, rolls and very good pumpkin pie. Granddaughter is vegetarian, and they had a tofu/mushroom/wild rice loaf that she said was excellent.
About half the residents (ages 60 to 95) were present, and again, we experienced a round of smiling welcomes and "so glad you're here" and "congratulations on your wedding". (These Quakers are of the liberal branch who have no problem with same-sex marriage. They are also all Democrats or Greens. Not a Republican on the premesis.)
One resident is named Bush, and he has taken to putting "N.R." after his name signifying that he is "not related."
It turns out, a couple about our age, who live two doors down from us, has a gay son who just got married, too.
So, we are settling right in and very, very thankful we moved here.
Just got through Turkey day dinner w/ Repub mom, aunt and uncle, and their sparky non-Repug daughters, who seemed happy to find out her middle-aged aunt is still an old hippie and ally. But politics was confined to the hors'd'oeuvres. Once dinner was on the table it was how to teach over-70s to use set boxes and cable tv, followed by dessert and ridiculous family memories that set everyone crying with laughter for an hour or two.
And thanks to those who had to work today - hospitals, railroads, airports, power stations, police. I went up to the local CVS this morning for a paper, and said to the woman at the checkout that I hope she would have a nice T'giving. She said she'd be there till 10 o'clock. When I looked at her in disbelief, she said in earlier years, they'd be let off at 4, but not this year. I said 'they must be desperate' - she said, yeah. We've got stores here in NY opening up at 4 am Friday morning - it's all very well if you want to buy something but pity those people who are serving you - betcha they're not getting overtime, they're just getting to keep their jobs.
I was touched by the rest of your post re CVS hours. Lots of retail sales people are practically slaves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7_MYrVzU-Y
For the life of me, though, I don't understand why Republicans think they should just be able to spout Fox News talking points and go unchallenged. When they are challenged, by me, its as if someone farted! It reminds me of the episode on the Daily Show with Bill O'Rielly claiming a teddy bear was a panda bear, and expecting Jon Stewart and the studio audience to allow his ignorance to go unchallenged. I guess its the cross I must bear for living in one of the reddest states?
Today's Republican meme, "Somehow the attacks in India are proof we are being attacked because of Obama." No, it doesn't matter its in India. No, it doesn't matter Obama isn't President, yet. It does matter Joe Biden said "Obama was going to be tested..." and the Republican Noise machine pushed that ignorant meme earlier today.
Of course, I had to remind them the dialect of the attackers proved they were Pakistani and its further proof of how Al-Qaida has splintered and become more dangerous because of the ineffective and incompetent "war on terra!" Then, of course, everyone needs to forget what was previously said about Obama somehow being at fault and we are supposed to "Thank baby Jesus Dubya hasn't allowed another attack on the homeland!" Its just amazing how Fox News has trained them to suspend their logic, and not entertain reason.
Actually, the Republicans were a lot worse the last few years. I do think the hard times are starting to sink in, and there was far less gloating about how wonderful their savior Dubya is. They are still pretty shell shocked over the election.
I am the only democrat and Obama voter...so after 8 years, the silence was nice. I guess they were too busy eating their crow. :)
Did you hear this one?
Palin, looking at the 2012 elections, will by studying hard between now and then. So she's moving to Juneau where she can see a library from her house...
;-)
That is just too funny!!!
1. Tons of bashing of day late/dollar short no-on-8 efforts here in SoCal. "They lost, marriage won. Can't "they" just get over it?"
2. Pity parties for the poor, oppressed home-schooling community having to meet CA state education standards.
3. America needs to kill the big 3 to save American heavy manufacturing from the unions.
4. Bill Clinton eviscerated our clandestine/humint capabilities and is thus to blame for 9/11 AND the WMD false alarm. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Bush has overseen a resurgence in those capabilities, so the intel saying Iran is getting nukes is unassailable and "something must be done." Oh, yeah. Drumming out teh gay Arabic linguists didn't hurt our security because it just didn't happen.
5. Obama is the winger's new Voldemort. In nine hours, nobody but me mentioned his name.
Today we were talking movies over Thanksgiving dinner, and one of my cousins asked me if I'd heard of An American Carol, which apparently she saw and enjoyed. (... so disappointing on so many levels) I just played dumb and feigned ignorance until we moved on.
I must say, Thanksgiving was great, it always is but the growing number of families who can't make ends meet or just don't have jobs is very depressing and winter can't end soon enough. Obama doesn't just have a hill to climb he has a mountain. We all have to do our bit a reach out and help.
Thanksgiving? I don't miss it.