DISQUS

AMERICAblog: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

  • Heather · 1 year ago
    Thanks, John. I needed some humor today. Argh! Sadly they seem to be one of the few industries turning a profit these days. It is shocking to me to see the ransoms that are being paid.
  • Greensburg · 1 year ago
    The pirates must be republicans.
  • EdNSted · 1 year ago
    No surprise. Turns out Somali Pirates Group is a wholly owned subsidiary of Halliburton.
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    probably are... seriously.
  • EdNSted · 1 year ago
    FYI, don't know if you've seen this or if it's credible. Considering the source, I wouldn't jump to conclusions.

    http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/nov/21...
  • Sharoney · 1 year ago
    So... is it Invest Like a Pirate Day?
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    okay, its a fake Bloomburg article... still, wouldn't shock me.

    ya know, thinking about these pirates... I don't know why there isn't a rule for each freighter or tanker to carry a short range bazooka and a few shells.

    I'm sorry, if I can't hail them on the radio... and I see machine guns? I'd blow them out of the water before they could board.

    these pirates only have the ships to do this because people are PAYING the ransom.... you blow enough of those ships out of the water, there won't be any pirates anymore.
  • anonymous · 1 year ago
    The pirates use small craft because they are MANEUVERABLE. Because believe it or not, people have fought at sea before, and institutionalized the knowledge gained. You are not the first person in the world to think of arming seacraft.
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    maneuverable, yes... but they have to stop in order to board, and they have to slow down to pull along side.

    boom. end of problem.

    I never said I was the first to think of it, why it isn't implemented is beyond me.

    tell you what, instead of using an insulting tone and speaking to me as if I'm an idiot... explain some reasons why it wouldn't work other than the smaller craft is MANEUVERABLE.

    put it this way, so is a running deer.... with a high-powered rifle and a scope? the deer is dead.
  • Jack · 1 year ago
    Three fastboats approach the ship. Two have machine guns trained on the deck, and are 100m and 200m away. The one 200m away is holding a grenade launcher and two RPGs itself. The third boat has a ladder and eight guys with assault rifles, SMGs, and grenades, and is right under your sight line..

    Are you 'gonna be the one lugging out the RPG and holding it up over the hull?

    RPGs are good for ambushes where the attacker can disappear afterwards, and doesn't really care about losses. Here, they're suicide by a half dozen methods.
  • duran · 1 year ago
    oh I hope you know its a joke, right? "Argggg, Maties! Here's what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story:"
  • Older_Wiser · 1 year ago
    Arrrrggghhhh!
  • SCLiberal · 1 year ago
    To err is human. To arrr is pirate.
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    LOL!!

    okay, I'm stealing that one :-)
  • SCLiberal · 1 year ago
    Wish it was an original. I saw it on a tshirt. :)
  • MaudGonne · 1 year ago
    Take it! Take it!!
    This would put the Saudi pirates and the other pirates on the same boat!!!
  • pdxprobert · 1 year ago
    Is this a joke?
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    "The pirates will finance part of the purchase by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued their top investment grade ratings for the PRBS's."


    now THAT is hilarious... I realize this is a joke but, the pirates are going to use the same techniques that got Wall St. where it is, and they're in "final negotiations." Which tells me the author kinda sees this practice happening again.

    regulation... note to the GOP, it isn't a bad thing.

    .
  • Soundboy_jeff_meanie · 1 year ago
    suddenly I'm thinking of the short film from the beginning of Monty Python's 'The Meaning Of Life'... The Crimson Permanent Assurance
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2498206...
  • Older_Wiser · 1 year ago
    OT, but rumors being discussed on MSNBC: Tim Geitner for Treasury, Bill Richardson for Commerce. To be announced Monday...and HRC is a done deal for State.
  • pcvirginiabeach · 1 year ago
    These clowns have let the PR get the better of them. They are not going to like it if the US Navy gets involved... or blackwater, for that matter.
  • SD Will · 1 year ago
    Pirate, Wall Street Executives. Tomato, To-mah-to,
  • zeiche · 1 year ago
    PRBS investments are a bad deal. They are fine when worldwide economies are strong however import/cruise industries slow down during bad economic climates which leads to tougher competition among pirates and lower PRBS returns.
  • Indigo · 1 year ago
    Talk like a pirate, invest like a pirate. Arrr! As pranks go, this one is altogether too credible, matey!
  • JetSetter · 1 year ago
    LOL! invest like a pirate day!
  • Wendy · 1 year ago
    Did Andy Borowitz write that Bloomberg piece?
  • DeppFan · 1 year ago
    OT - Dr. Phil has a great show on same-sex marriage today, if anyone in other time zones gets a chance to see it later on. Gavin Newsom, Gloria Allred are on, with some christianazis on the opposing side, causing for a very heated discussion.
  • LeftCoastOracle · 1 year ago
    I've given up on shows that include christian nazis. Until they can come up with a rational human being with a reasoned position on the subject count me out.
  • Phylter · 1 year ago
    This is a Monty Python sketch, right?
  • Thundering Typhoon · 1 year ago
    unbelievable? actually, no collar pirates and white collar pirates are all the same!
  • skteoievtehr · 1 year ago
    This can't be happening...
  • Older_Wiser · 1 year ago
    OT: Stocks go up on rumor Tim Geithner to be named to Treasury.
  • houstonray · 1 year ago
    Yes, this IS a joke....First line: "Argggg, Maties! Here's what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story: Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup"

    It supposedly added some humor to a bleak end of week market.

    I think it's hilarious and I have a feeling that somewhere in Alaska right now, a certain Brunette is just shocked at this turn of events....
  • clytemnestra · 1 year ago
    this is the Onion right?
  • Dave of the Jungle · 1 year ago
    I can't wait for a Sarah Palin opinion on this.
  • nicho · 1 year ago
    She will be interviewed with pirates in the background making people walk the plank.
  • nicho · 1 year ago
    The sad thing is that you could almost believe it. How would they be any different from the people who are looting our treasury as we speak?
  • LeftCoastOracle · 1 year ago
    I guess the only difference is that one wears an Uzi and the other a tie.
  • zavlin · 1 year ago
    Oh god yes, please, somebody give this story to Sarah Palin and ask for comment.
  • 1000turtles · 1 year ago
    lol.
  • LeftCoastOracle · 1 year ago
    If I was religious I'd say amen.
  • pdxprobert · 1 year ago
    here's another funny thing to read... Got Milk? i try to read the attached blog everyday... its by two 80+ woman who have been friends since college... one is a democrat and the other a republican.. their wit and wisdom makes me laugh...

    http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/
  • kh7463 · 1 year ago
    I just read a couple of their posts and had to laugh. Thanks for the heads up.
  • anarchy · 1 year ago
    pirates on ships, pirates in suits.
    somebody explain the difference to me..

    BAHAHAHA!
  • Danalan · 1 year ago
    Too funny. Frankly, I think the pirates could do at least as good a job.
  • SkippyFlipjack · 1 year ago
    Did John fall for this? Sort of seems like it; usually he posts the funny stuff with a comment about how funny it is.
  • RitornaVincitor · 1 year ago
    Normally I'd say this was a joke. But after 8 years of the Bush administration, I could believe just about anything, no matter how impossibly idiotic.
  • Berken · 1 year ago
    Of course this is a joke. Even Somali pirates have SOME standards. They wouldn't associate with trash like Citigroup
  • LeftCoastOracle · 1 year ago
    I find this funnier than the Hitler video. Of course it matters not whether the pirate wears an Uzi or a suit and tie, the effect is the same.
  • beltman713 · 1 year ago
    I think those pirate's days are numbered. You can starve all the children in Africa, but you start making a dent in the rich man's profit margin and it won't be long before you are dealt with.